Category Archives: humor

Ten Tips For Aspiring Shoe Throwers

A shoe throwing incident is an act of bravery and only the people who are extremely disturbed or personally affected by the policies of the target in question takes it upon himself to throw a shoe. But unlike GMAT or  GRE which can be attempted multiple times, hurling a shoe can be done just once because there is a high chance that you would be arrested and punished for the rash act. Hence it becomes even more pertinent that you prepare well.

Here are some tips that can help you deliver your best:

i) Strategy : Like every other examination, shoe throwing requires a planned strategy. Prepare a timetable and divide your time for all aspects of the act, from entry to exit. Experts suggest that last 15 days should be spent in doing a recce of the venue. You need to devise your sequence of events.

ii) Practice It : Since this is an act of defiance and a new way to express disgust and hopelessness , you need to be very confident on how to throw the shoe. You need to buy the right kind of shoe with correct weight and good aerodynamics and practise throwing it on a mannequin.

iii) Mock Throws : Guessing the type of venue and personality on whom the shoe has to be hurled, the best way is to attempt as many mocks as possible. It will help you to be confident about your preparation. With so many local events happening, it becomes easy to do this and evaluate your performance and know where you stand.

iv) Work On Your Weakness : Track your weak points and work hard to improve them. You should be able to aim from any distance and at any angle. Also pay attention to fundamentals of where the security guards are placed.

v) Get Upto Speed And Accuracy : Since you have such less time to aim and shoot, time is of prime concern. And while we have seen so many enthusiasts miss the target, it becomes more important that you gain accuracy by practising.

vi) Mood Setting : Be focussed, don’t lose your concentration. Get into the zone and be prepared for the consequences. If you succeed you will be held in high esteem, but if you fail then you may become an object of ridicule. So, get your mood right. Eat well, sleep well and breathe easy before the day of the event.

vii) Punctuality Matters: Be punctual. Be at the venue before time and do a quick survey. Spot your seat, hide your shoe carefully so you can get them out on time.

viii) Don’t Carry Unnecessary Objects: All you need is a good shoe, quick reflexes, guts, good aim and calm nerves. Don’t carry any other unnecessary objects which may hinder your performance.

ix) Cue Card And Quick Inspiration : Have a cue card and go through the plan again and again. Take inspiration from people who have attempted hurling a shoe, and try to better them by getting the target.

x) Be Careful About Extra Security: In order to hurl the shoe and escape, be careful about the extra security cover who move around in civilian clothings. Be careful about this.

By sticking to all the above tips, you can have a nice time in throwing a shoe at your target and become famous too. All the best!

This post was first published on Yahoo Network

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Posted by on February 15, 2011 in general, humor



Tweets From Suhel Seth In Last 48 hours

Suhel Seth has been on fire for the last 48 hours. He has spoken/tweeted his heart out on the CWG, spot-fixing, A.Raja etc. Here’s a compilation of his wonderful tweets:

Salman Butt is offered an honorary berth at the CWG because they are looking at like-minded thieves who then get caught!!!

Zardari confirms the Pakistan team has done great national service! They now have more foreign exchange reserves thanks to the match-chors!

Mayawati is the only woman in the world who gets statues of hers erected with open handbags..she is hoping for money in that too!

I went to the temple to pray to GOD to stop the rains. The priest tells me that the Temple is now the official wrestling stadium…so then??

Indian Met Dept has been given a gag order on rainy predictions. Any water from the skies is to be treated as a faulty Jet Airways toilet!

Mayawati announces a grant of Rs 20 crs for herself on the show. As a statue. Last heard, also asked for a make-up man…for the statue!!

INDIA’S GOT KALMADI premieres on October 3. In lieu of the Opening Ceremony since it may rain and we may miss a chance to see Kalmadi…

Rakhee Sawant refuses to be on the judging panel saying she speaks better English than all the other judges on the show! Racist woman!!!

The judges for Sony’s new show: Lalu ‘Chara’ Yadav, Shibu ‘Khooni Soren and A ‘Spectrum’ Raja. Mayawati is instead sending her statue!!!

SONY announces a new reality tv show! INDIA’S GOT KALMADI. Rahul Mahajan is the only contender! With bikini-star Dimpy in tow…:)

A Raja is busy dialling Zardari now, given that Kalmadi has made his first official havala appointment!!!

Zardari announces interest rate hikes in Pakistan effective October 15 and bans all manufacture of toilet paper and flushes…

Kalmadi accepts appointment as Chief Pakistan Cricket Board from October 15 and says he will do to Pakistan what the Indian Army couldn’t!

Zardari offers Kalmadi the Nishaan-e-Pakistan, since in India, Kalmadi will be a nishana of a different kind..:)

Kalmadi offers the services of the Organising Committee of the CWG to the Pak Cricket Board to get out of charges of financial hera-phiri

Aman Ki Cash..the new initiative for improving Indo-Pak relations. We’ll give you Kalmadi. You give us Kashmir (the one you have)!! K for K!

Zardari has also announced as a step towards improving Indo-pak relations, he has bought some Padma Shris @ a discount for the Pak Team!!

Actually, unless proven guilty, the following are beacons of honesty: Pak cricketers, Mayawati, Raja, Kalmadi, Zardari, Shibu Soren…

Zardari has just announced the 10% Award for the Pakistan cricketers as a tribute to their counting-money capabilities! They will be drowned

There is a new dance form launched by CWG! Its called Kalakcashtra!!!

Pakistan players were idiots. They should have asked Kalmadi. Forget the match, he would have fixed the weather! Like he’s done with rain!!

Punishment for Pakistan players: work on clearing the CWG mess and rubble and then go on meditation with Kalmadi!!!

Random House is publishing Kalmadi’s autobiography. In the form of a cheque book!!!!

The Bharat Ratna is only meant for the dead. Kalmadi doesn’t qualify unless ofcourse the roof falls on him at the Opening Ceremony!!

A Raja is not the SCAM-DEITY. He alone is the SCAM-PANTHEON!!!

Knock, knock, who’s there? Kalmadi..but where’s the door? Still being built..will be done by October 3..if not 15!!!

Ramalinga Raju has just erected Kalmadi’s statue whilst out on bail! He says, Kalmadi is the SCAM-DEITY of India..coming soon some KalHymns

Manmohan Singh was busy on nuclear deals and Sonia with A Raja! They had no time!!! Which is why Kalmadi was the cash!

Kalmadi Ki Karamat!!! The new Karan Johar film releasing on October 3!!! In all incomplete stadia!!!

Shakti Kapoor and Shiney Ahuja have refused to act in KKK! They say that the rape scenes have already happened! Look at the stadia???

The unique feature of a Kalmadi is they can extract water from stone and sell it as single malt and bill for an aeroplane..made of paper!

Kalmadis are a tribe found in the upper reaches of Goji berries! They are always hungry and love receving any donations!!!!

India bula raha hai! Aayo khelo hamari sadkon pe..stadium to har jaghan milte hain…hamari sadken bhi kamal ki hain! Obstacle race!

So A R Rahman says he finished the song, the night before..what’s with the damn everything going to be the night before????

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Posted by on August 31, 2010 in cricket, general, humor, indian politics, sports


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the missing husband

A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband.

Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height?

Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy?

Woman Not slim, can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes?

Woman: Never noticed !
Inspector: Color of hair?

Woman: Should be black, I guess! 
Inspector: What was he wearing?

Woman: I don’t remember exactly.
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?

Woman: Yes my Romeo (Labrador dog) , tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non-veg food, we eat together, we jog together.
The woman started crying ….

Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!!!!!!!

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Posted by on July 22, 2010 in general, humor