This movie is one of my all time fave movies. I did not want to write a review of it, too late to write one. So, I thought I would just make a small compilation of quotes from the movie which would capture all the wonderful moments.
Harry: You know you just get to a certain point where you get tired of the whole thing.
Sally: What “whole thing”?
Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white-man’s over-bite, go back to her place, you have sex and the minute you’re finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home. Is thirty seconds enough?
Sally: That’s what you’re thinking? Is that true?
Harry: Sure! All men think that. How long do you want to be held afterwards? All night, right? See there’s your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally: I don’t have a problem! Harry: Yeah you do.
Jess: I don’t understand this relationship.
Harry: What do you mean?
Jess: You enjoy being with her?
Harry: Yeah. Jess: You find her attractive?
Harry: Yeah. Jess: And you’re not sleeping with her.
Harry: No. Jess: You’re afraid to let yourself be happy.
Harry: Why can’t you give me credit for this? This is a big thing for me. I never had a relationship with a woman that didn’t involve sex. I feel like I’m growing. …
Harry: It’s very freeing. I can say anything to her.
Jess: Are you saying you can say things to her you can’t say to me?
Harry: Nah, it’s just different. It’s a whole new perspective. I get the woman’s point of view on things. She tells me about the men she goes out with and I can talk to her about the women that I see.
Jess: You tell her about other women.
Harry: Yeah. Like the other night. I made love to this woman, and it was so incredible, I took her to a place that wasn’t human, she actually meowed.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
Harry: Yeah. That’s the point, I can say these things to her. And the great thing is, I don’t have to lie because I’m not always thinking about how to get her into bed. I can just be myself.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
Harry: I think they have an OK time.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: What do you mean how do I know? I know.
Sally: Because they… Harry: Yes, because they…
Sally: And how do you know that they really…
Harry: What are you saying, that they fake orgasm?
Sally: It’s possible.
Harry: Get outta here!
Sally: Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry: Well they haven’t faked it with me.
Sally: How do you know? Harry: Because I know. Sally: Oh, right, that’s right, I forgot, you’re a man.
Harry: What is that supposed to mean?
Sally: Nothing. It’s just that all men are sure it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math.
Harry: You don’t think that I could tell the difference?
Harry: Get outta here. [Sally begins to fake an orgasm]
Harry: Are you OK? [Sally continues very audibly, attracting the attention of nearly every customer in the cafe. Afterwards, she returns to eating her dessert]
Older Woman Customer: [to waiter] I’ll have what she’s having.
Sally: I don’t have to take this crap from you.
Harry: If you’re so over Joe, why aren’t you seeing anyone?
Sally: I see people.
Harry: See people? Have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?
Sally: What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I’m over Joe? Because I fuck somebody? Harry, you’re gonna have to move back to New Jersey because you’ve slept with everybody in New York and I don’t see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you. Besides, I will make love to somebody when it is making love. Not the way you do it like you’re out for revenge or something.
Harry: Are you finished now?
Harry: Can I say something?
Harry: I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Harry: Why can’t we get past this? I mean, are we gonna carry this thing around forever?
Sally: Forever? It just happened.
Harry: It happened three weeks ago. You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog?
Sally: Yes. Is one of us supposed to be a dog in this scenario?
Sally: Who is the dog?
Harry: You are.
Sally: I am? I am the dog? I am the dog?
Sally: I am the dog. I-I don’t see that Harry. If anybody is the dog, you are the dog. You want to act like what happened didn’t mean anything.
Harry: I’m not saying it didn’t mean anything. I am saying why does it have to mean everything?
Sally: Because it does, and you should know that better than anybody because the minute that it happens, you walk right out the door.
Harry: I didn’t walk out.
Sally: No, sprinted is more like it.
Harry: We both agreed it was a mistake.
Sally: The worst mistake I’ve ever made.
Harry: What do you want from me?
Sally: I don’t want anything from you!
Harry: Fine. Fine, but let’s just get one thing straight. I did not go over there that night to make love to you, that is not why I went there. But you looked up at me with these big weepy eyes, don’t go home night Harry, hold me a little longer Harry. What was I supposed to do?
Sally: What are you saying, you took pity on me?
Harry: No, I was…
Sally: Fuck you
Harry: I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about, you love me too.
Sally: I’m sorry, Harry. I know it’s New Year’s Eve. I know you’re feeling lonely, but you just can’t show up here, tell me you love me, and expect that to make everything all right. It doesn’t work this way.
Harry: Well, how does it work?
Sally: I don’t know, but not this way.
Harry: How about this way? I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you.
Sally: Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.
Harry: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you’re gonna be screaming at each other about who’s gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That’s Mine, This Is Yours.
Harry: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won’t know whose is whose. ‘Cause someday, believe it or not, you’ll go 15 rounds over who’s gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE.
Jess: I thought you liked it?
Harry: I was being nice.
Harry: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. That’s why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Harry: Because eventually things move on and you don’t take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?
Sally: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.
Harry: There are two kinds of women – high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally: Which one am I?
Harry: You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance
Sally: I don’t see that.
Harry: You don’t see that? Waiter, I’ll begin with a house salad, but I don’t want the regular dressing. I’ll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. “On the side” is a very big thing for you.
Sally: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry: I know; high maintenance.
Sally: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.
Harry: That’s what drew her to me.
Sally: Your dark side?
Harry: Sure. Why? Don’t you have a dark side? I know, you’re probably one of those cheerful people who dot their “i’s” with little hearts.
Sally: I have just as much of a dark side as the next person.
Harry: Oh, really? When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.
Marie: All I’m saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don’t get him first, somebody else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband
Sally: Well, basically it’s the same dream I’ve been having since I was twelve.
Harry: Which is?
Sally: Okay, there’s this guy…
Harry: What does he look like?
Sally: I don’t know, he’s just sort of faceless.
Harry: Faceless guy, okay.
Sally: He RIPS off my clothes.
Sally: That’s it.
Harry: That’s it? Some faceless guy rips off all your clothes, and THAT’S the sex fantasy you’ve been having since you were twelve?
Sally: Well sometimes I vary it a little.
Harry: Which part?
Sally: What I’m wearing.
Sally: He just met her… She’s supposed to be his transitional person, she’s not supposed to be the ONE. All this time I thought he didn’t want to get married. But, the truth is, he didn’t want to marry me. He didn’t love me.
Harry: If you could take him back now, would you?
Sally: No. But why didn’t he want to marry me? What’s the matter with me?
Sally: I’m difficult.
Harry: You’re challenging.
Sally: I’m too structured, I’m completely closed off.
Harry: But in a good way.
Sally: No, no, no, I drove him away. AND, I’m gonna be forty.
Harry: In eight years.
Sally: But it’s there. It’s just sitting there, like some big dead end. And it’s not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 73.
Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.
Sally: At least I got the apartment.
Harry: That’s what everyone says. But, really, what’s so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorman. What they could do to make it easier is combine the two. You know, Mr. Kline died yesterday, leaving behind a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.
Harry: We’re talking dream date compared to my horror. It started out fine, she’s a very nice person, and we’re sitting and we’re talking at this Ethiopian restaurant that she wanted to go to. And I was making jokes, you know like, “Hey I didn’t know that they had food in Ethiopia? This will be a quick meal. I’ll order two empty plates and we can leave.” Yeah, nothing from her not even a smile.