Tweets From Suhel Seth In Last 48 hours

Suhel Seth has been on fire for the last 48 hours. He has spoken/tweeted his heart out on the CWG, spot-fixing, A.Raja etc. Here’s a compilation of his wonderful tweets:

Salman Butt is offered an honorary berth at the CWG because they are looking at like-minded thieves who then get caught!!!

Zardari confirms the Pakistan team has done great national service! They now have more foreign exchange reserves thanks to the match-chors!

Mayawati is the only woman in the world who gets statues of hers erected with open handbags..she is hoping for money in that too!

I went to the temple to pray to GOD to stop the rains. The priest tells me that the Temple is now the official wrestling stadium…so then??

Indian Met Dept has been given a gag order on rainy predictions. Any water from the skies is to be treated as a faulty Jet Airways toilet!

Mayawati announces a grant of Rs 20 crs for herself on the show. As a statue. Last heard, also asked for a make-up man…for the statue!!

INDIA’S GOT KALMADI premieres on October 3. In lieu of the Opening Ceremony since it may rain and we may miss a chance to see Kalmadi…

Rakhee Sawant refuses to be on the judging panel saying she speaks better English than all the other judges on the show! Racist woman!!!

The judges for Sony’s new show: Lalu ‘Chara’ Yadav, Shibu ‘Khooni Soren and A ‘Spectrum’ Raja. Mayawati is instead sending her statue!!!

SONY announces a new reality tv show! INDIA’S GOT KALMADI. Rahul Mahajan is the only contender! With bikini-star Dimpy in tow…:)

A Raja is busy dialling Zardari now, given that Kalmadi has made his first official havala appointment!!!

Zardari announces interest rate hikes in Pakistan effective October 15 and bans all manufacture of toilet paper and flushes…

Kalmadi accepts appointment as Chief Pakistan Cricket Board from October 15 and says he will do to Pakistan what the Indian Army couldn’t!

Zardari offers Kalmadi the Nishaan-e-Pakistan, since in India, Kalmadi will be a nishana of a different kind..:)

Kalmadi offers the services of the Organising Committee of the CWG to the Pak Cricket Board to get out of charges of financial hera-phiri

Aman Ki Cash..the new initiative for improving Indo-Pak relations. We’ll give you Kalmadi. You give us Kashmir (the one you have)!! K for K!

Zardari has also announced as a step towards improving Indo-pak relations, he has bought some Padma Shris @ a discount for the Pak Team!!

Actually, unless proven guilty, the following are beacons of honesty: Pak cricketers, Mayawati, Raja, Kalmadi, Zardari, Shibu Soren…

Zardari has just announced the 10% Award for the Pakistan cricketers as a tribute to their counting-money capabilities! They will be drowned

There is a new dance form launched by CWG! Its called Kalakcashtra!!!

Pakistan players were idiots. They should have asked Kalmadi. Forget the match, he would have fixed the weather! Like he’s done with rain!!

Punishment for Pakistan players: work on clearing the CWG mess and rubble and then go on meditation with Kalmadi!!!

Random House is publishing Kalmadi’s autobiography. In the form of a cheque book!!!!

The Bharat Ratna is only meant for the dead. Kalmadi doesn’t qualify unless ofcourse the roof falls on him at the Opening Ceremony!!

A Raja is not the SCAM-DEITY. He alone is the SCAM-PANTHEON!!!

Knock, knock, who’s there? Kalmadi..but where’s the door? Still being built..will be done by October 3..if not 15!!!

Ramalinga Raju has just erected Kalmadi’s statue whilst out on bail! He says, Kalmadi is the SCAM-DEITY of India..coming soon some KalHymns

Manmohan Singh was busy on nuclear deals and Sonia with A Raja! They had no time!!! Which is why Kalmadi was rolling..in the cash!

Kalmadi Ki Karamat!!! The new Karan Johar film releasing on October 3!!! In all incomplete stadia!!!

Shakti Kapoor and Shiney Ahuja have refused to act in KKK! They say that the rape scenes have already happened! Look at the stadia???

The unique feature of a Kalmadi is they can extract water from stone and sell it as single malt and bill for an aeroplane..made of paper!

Kalmadis are a tribe found in the upper reaches of Tibet..like Goji berries! They are always hungry and love receving any donations!!!!

India bula raha hai! Aayo khelo hamari sadkon pe..stadium to har jaghan milte hain…hamari sadken bhi kamal ki hain! Obstacle race!

So A R Rahman says he finished the song, the night before..what’s with the damn CWG..is everything going to be the night before????

 

Trailer : Black Swan

Cast : Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel

Director : Darren Aronofsky

Its a tale of a ballet dancer, Nina (played by Natalie) who is in competition with Lily (played by Mila) for the ballerina spot in a ballet. The contest between the two turns into a psychological game of who gets uner whose skin. This is the next feature of Aronofsky after ‘The Wrestler’. The tentative release date is sometime in December.

 

Will ‘Peepli Live’ be India’s Oscar Entry for 2011?

Usually movies come with ratings and reviews which either takes us towards the movie or away from it. But Aamir Khan’s movies come with ‘compulsion’; a ‘must watch’ tag. When Aamir puts himself behind a movie, then all ratings and reviews fly out of the window; and people just want to watch the product at least once. And when that product turns out to be what ‘Peepli [Live]‘ is, we understand what differentiates Aamir from the others.

Everyone has been gushing about the movie; even the media channels who have been mocked at in the movie. The tv channels have accepted it as a backhanded compliment that at least they showed the plight of the farmer, albeit in a sarcastic tone and for TRPs. I would sound repetitive if I said that ‘the movie was great…a satire on the political class and media … authentic … moving’ etc etc. Rather than stating the obvious, let me just say that Shyam Benegal called the movie ‘a landmark film’ on a news channel last week. After hearing the entire discussion, my mind took flight and I started wondering if this movie would be chosen as India’s Oscar entry for the year 2011. Apart from the movie being a fine work of art, a concave view of the farmer’s plight, its also a telling statement on the society. Let me quickly list the things that go in favour of PL:

a. of all the movies that India has sent to Oscars, only 3 movies have been nominated in ‘Best Foreign Language Film’ category – Mother India, Salaam Bombay and Lagaan. All three based on people with impoverished background in general, MI and Lagaan based on rural background in particular.

b. having seen the success of Slumdog Millionaire and the various discussions on poverty-porn or poverty sells, PL seems to be just the kind of movie that the jury may favor.

c. most movies that were sent as India’s entry were barely showcased due to lack of funds. We have previously seen how Aamir and Ashutosh gave it their best in promoting ‘Lagaan’. By virtue of having been there before and done the hardwork, Aamir seems to be the ideal producer who can promote the movie. And also, his credibility can bring in the jurors and critics to give his movie a dekko.

Peepli [Live] works on all levels, it tells a great tale in a fascinating manner. The story itself is not all that new, a general apathy displayed by the political class and the discontent of the poor innocent villager. But the media-hawks flying down to the epicenter of the drama and the various bureaucratic procedures/hurdles gave the entire proceedings a satirical tone. Who can forget that line “We are waiting for the High Court orders” being oft repeated or the invasion of privacy where a man cannot answer nature’s call without the presence of security and tv cameras. What have we come to? Reporters/journalists chasing mal-mutra for TRPs!

I have this weird feeling that the movie has a better chance of winning the Oscar[because of above reasons] than of being selected as India’s entry. Within India itself there would be much debate on which movie to be sent to the Oscars. Another movie that comes immediately to mind, which could give competition to PL is LSD.

Technically, LSD is on par with what the western audience has already experienced before in Paranormal Activity etc. A movie that does not look like one, the rough-cut and the jagged edge gives it that extra bit of authenticity; and the story-telling is very understated. The movie does not make a statement, does not ask questions, does not prove anyone wrong or right, does not lecture on ways of life and living; and yet it does all of the above in a very subliminal way. Considering technical finesse, story-telling and the real world story that it chooses to tell, LSD would be a good choice too.

Finally, let me come to my worst fear. Yes, I think you guessed it ! MNIK could just prove to be the dark horse. And the only reason why this could be chosen would be that it sends out a message of unity and the shunning of Islamophobia. And no better country to send out such a message than India. If we see from the government’s perspective, they would rather send a movie that shows India in good light than a PL or a LSD. So, if MNIK gets chosen I would not be surprised at all. Moreover, SRK is an equally recognized face all over the world and would manage to promote the movie well; but I am not so sure about the credibility factor.

Let me hastily add that I have not spoken about any regional cinema here. As much as I have read and watched them, I am not sure any of them could make it. But you never know the way I&B ministry works; we could all be in for some surprise. But my personal choice would be Peepli [Live]. Let me know what you think.

This post was first published on PFC



 

ileana d’cruz : its all in the jeans

 

A Strange “64th Independence Day”

It has been a strange 64th Independence Day, like many others before. Even as our PM, Manmohan Singh, was making a speech at the Red Fort, a 14 year old boy who had scored 97% in his board exams and was a bright student of ITI, was accidentally electrocuted by the naked hanging electrical wires of the MCD. And even as people were out, wining and dining, Ram Sene struck a pub in Mysore for “immoral” activities. The place was ransacked and people were injured due to the violent attack. What freedom was this where a moral brigade, an extra-constitutional body was violating the very tenets of the constitution; and ironically on Independence day.

 While our PM was making an appeal for peace and prosperity, a CISF jawan was beheaded by a maoist in bright daylight; he was pulled out of a bus and done to death. And if that was not enough, a shoe was hurled at the CM of J&K, Omar Abdullah, who was also giving out a message for calm in the valley during his flag hoisting ceremony.

 While malls and shopping arcades were giving away discount sales, the farmers of Vidharbha were busy burning effigies of Aamir Khan to protest against the casual attitude with which farmers have been portrayed and their issue of farmer-suicide is being made a mockery. They accused Aamir of playing with their emotions and at the same time making money out of their misery.

 All this happened on 15^th Aug, sigh! What kind of freedom is this where we are always under siege from someone or the other. It just reminds me of a quote by Jean Jacques Rousseau that goes “Man is born free, yet he is everywhere in chains”. 

 

Trailer : Gandu

 

Enthiran : Music Launch & First Reaction

It will soon be a week since Enthiran had its audio launch in Malaysia with much fanfare, but no one is talking about the music of the movie. I have been waiting for someone to post a review of the songs, but now I am tired of waiting. So here I am, bursting on all seams, to give my first reaction. Yes, its not a music review per se but just my reaction.

Like all Rahman albums, I had been waititng for this one too. And finally its out and its just about ok. The sounds are not new anymore, just a jaded effort from the maestro. The techno sounds, keyboard tunes and the robotic beeps are a little amateurish. The best song for me was Arima Arima sung beautifully by Hariharan and Sadhna Sargam. The song takes you back to Kappaleri Poyaachu song from Indian. It has a war/revolution like feel to it, with marching beats and Sadhna’s soothing voice while Hariharan takes the high notes with flair. The instrumentation is fantastic with the additional voices of Naresh and Benny adding that extra zing. I am sure this song will be the face of the movie promos as humanoids promise to be our future.

Another favourite song from this album is Kadhal Anukkal which has a very light feel to it. Wonderful strumming of the guitar and it starts with a lazy elegance, just like Rubaroo from RDB. Vijay Prakash lends the country feel to the song with the drag in the words and pronunciation to bring about the ‘lazy elegance’ that I was talking about. Sherya Ghoshal has done well too. Vijay manages to pull off the song , but fails to do what Naresh had doen to Rubaroo; partly because the mood here is a lot different from RDB. Anyways, be ready to hear lyrics with words like ‘newton’, ‘electron’, ‘proton’ and everything thats remotely related to science. Its all there and not just limited to robotics!

Talking about robotic beeps, Puthiya Manitha is a lacklustre song. There is a crooning effect in the entire song, probably to bring out the feeling of being surrounded by science and all the enigma that ensues robotics technology. This is the title song and also the first song in the album, and obviously it sings praises of a robot. SPB and Rahman have lent their voices to this rather weak song.

By the way, I have always wondered how Rahman decides which song he should lend his voice to. I mean, in every movie he has sung a song. But what’s the criteria for chosing the song? Is it the difficulty level, or the voice quality that he is looking for, or the right attitude to approach a song? His choices are so different, be it the Dil Se title track or the jazz based JTYJN title track or Beera etc.

Rahman takes to the mike again in Irumbile Oru Idhayam, rapped by Kash ‘n’ Krissy. This is another song that has techno beats all throughout with some inane rappings that sound like Dr.Jones. The rapping is really monotonous and no amount of techno beat saves the song. Of course, Rahman does justice to the song here, but its not all that groovy.

Javed Ali, another regular of Rahman, gets to sing the Kilimanjaro song which has some really strange musical pieces. It starts with African beats but sounds earthy in its feel. Lot of experimentation with the instruments and vocal chords; and of course the lyrics where Kilimanjaro has been rhymed with Mohenjodaro. And for once, Javed Ali brings some expression to a song. I have always felt that he sings a song flatly, without getting into it; as in Jashn-e-bahara in JA. Here, Chinmayee has added a much needed peppy-ness to the song, and that might’ve forced Javed to sing in a relaxed and jovial fashion. Whatever it was, as long as it entertains, I am good. The end result is a fun song; but it doesn’t stay with you for long. Actually, the whacky lyrics will refuse to get out of your head.

Here’s a revisit to theme tune of Patti Rap, that’s how the song Boom Boom Robo Da begins. Another of the techno songs in the album, with Tamil rap and various voices of Yogi, Keerthi etc. By the time you get to this song, you are completley exhausted with all the techno stuff and all the lyrics alluding to deep space, robotics, science and its wonders.

This could be one of the weaker albums of Rahman, I preferred Raavan to this. But no matter what, I will continue listening to it and doing the Chitti Dance until the movie releases on 3rd Sept.

This post was first published on PFC

 

Illusions : The Adventures Of A Reluctant Messiah

I have just finished reading a book called Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach. This is not the first Richard Bach book I have read. Earlier I had enjoyed his Jonathan Livingston Seagull which was about breaking away from conventions, taking the path less trodden and achieving the impossible.

This book Illusions is about enlightenment, about search for a master who can tell us the real meaning of life. The book is slightly slow paced and the story takes time to unfold, but it keeps you interested. The book has two main characters, Donald Shimoda and Richard, both pilots who entertain people by taking them on joyous flights. Donald Shimoda can be considered as your present-day Buddha ….. who walks the earth amongst us …. is an enlightened soul, while Richard is a lesser human who chances upon Shimoda. Shimoda takes to flying a plane and performing miracles in the air because he believes that people are more interested in “illusions” of life, rather than understanding the deeper meaning and the message behind them. Both these characters get talking, and the true master Shimoda, hands Richard a Handbook Of A Messiah. This handbook is filled with words of wisdom[wow]. That’s what I kept saying all through the book ‘wow’…

There are lots of people who may not get a chance to read the book, or may not be interested in reading the book. For their benefit, I am listing some of the quotable quotes:

• Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
• Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.
• Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. Listen to it carefully.
• You’re never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
• Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.
• There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands.
• Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your aquintance will know in a thousand years.
• Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.

The best quote of the book is: Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you are alive it isn’t. This quote also appears on the back cover of the book.

But my favourite is: What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly

 

Trailer : Aakrosh

Cast : Ajay Devgan, Akshaye Khanna

Director :  Priyadarshan

Producer : Kumar Mangat

Interestingly, the trailer says ‘from the director of Virasat & Gardish’ and not ‘Hera Pheri & Khatta Meetha’ ; thereby giving the film a serious look. Also, the movie was earlier titled ‘Garam Hawa’ I believe; but Imdb neither lists ‘Garam Hawa’ nor ‘Aakrosh’ among line-up of future projects of Akshay/Ajay. These two stars have paired after a very long gap of 8 years, their last movie being ‘Deewangee’ which released way back in 2002. And if I am not mistaken, this is the first time Priyadarshan will be directing Ajay Devgan. Watch-out!

This post was first published on PFC