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Tweets From Suhel Seth In Last 48 hours

31 Aug

Suhel Seth has been on fire for the last 48 hours. He has spoken/tweeted his heart out on the CWG, spot-fixing, A.Raja etc. Here’s a compilation of his wonderful tweets:

Salman Butt is offered an honorary berth at the CWG because they are looking at like-minded thieves who then get caught!!!

Zardari confirms the Pakistan team has done great national service! They now have more foreign exchange reserves thanks to the match-chors!

Mayawati is the only woman in the world who gets statues of hers erected with open handbags..she is hoping for money in that too!

I went to the temple to pray to GOD to stop the rains. The priest tells me that the Temple is now the official wrestling stadium…so then??

Indian Met Dept has been given a gag order on rainy predictions. Any water from the skies is to be treated as a faulty Jet Airways toilet!

Mayawati announces a grant of Rs 20 crs for herself on the show. As a statue. Last heard, also asked for a make-up man…for the statue!!

INDIA’S GOT KALMADI premieres on October 3. In lieu of the Opening Ceremony since it may rain and we may miss a chance to see Kalmadi…

Rakhee Sawant refuses to be on the judging panel saying she speaks better English than all the other judges on the show! Racist woman!!!

The judges for Sony’s new show: Lalu ‘Chara’ Yadav, Shibu ‘Khooni Soren and A ‘Spectrum’ Raja. Mayawati is instead sending her statue!!!

SONY announces a new reality tv show! INDIA’S GOT KALMADI. Rahul Mahajan is the only contender! With bikini-star Dimpy in tow…:)

A Raja is busy dialling Zardari now, given that Kalmadi has made his first official havala appointment!!!

Zardari announces interest rate hikes in Pakistan effective October 15 and bans all manufacture of toilet paper and flushes…

Kalmadi accepts appointment as Chief Pakistan Cricket Board from October 15 and says he will do to Pakistan what the Indian Army couldn’t!

Zardari offers Kalmadi the Nishaan-e-Pakistan, since in India, Kalmadi will be a nishana of a different kind..:)

Kalmadi offers the services of the Organising Committee of the CWG to the Pak Cricket Board to get out of charges of financial hera-phiri

Aman Ki Cash..the new initiative for improving Indo-Pak relations. We’ll give you Kalmadi. You give us Kashmir (the one you have)!! K for K!

Zardari has also announced as a step towards improving Indo-pak relations, he has bought some Padma Shris @ a discount for the Pak Team!!

Actually, unless proven guilty, the following are beacons of honesty: Pak cricketers, Mayawati, Raja, Kalmadi, Zardari, Shibu Soren…

Zardari has just announced the 10% Award for the Pakistan cricketers as a tribute to their counting-money capabilities! They will be drowned

There is a new dance form launched by CWG! Its called Kalakcashtra!!!

Pakistan players were idiots. They should have asked Kalmadi. Forget the match, he would have fixed the weather! Like he’s done with rain!!

Punishment for Pakistan players: work on clearing the CWG mess and rubble and then go on meditation with Kalmadi!!!

Random House is publishing Kalmadi’s autobiography. In the form of a cheque book!!!!

The Bharat Ratna is only meant for the dead. Kalmadi doesn’t qualify unless ofcourse the roof falls on him at the Opening Ceremony!!

A Raja is not the SCAM-DEITY. He alone is the SCAM-PANTHEON!!!

Knock, knock, who’s there? Kalmadi..but where’s the door? Still being built..will be done by October 3..if not 15!!!

Ramalinga Raju has just erected Kalmadi’s statue whilst out on bail! He says, Kalmadi is the SCAM-DEITY of India..coming soon some KalHymns

Manmohan Singh was busy on nuclear deals and Sonia with A Raja! They had no time!!! Which is why Kalmadi was rolling..in the cash!

Kalmadi Ki Karamat!!! The new Karan Johar film releasing on October 3!!! In all incomplete stadia!!!

Shakti Kapoor and Shiney Ahuja have refused to act in KKK! They say that the rape scenes have already happened! Look at the stadia???

The unique feature of a Kalmadi is they can extract water from stone and sell it as single malt and bill for an aeroplane..made of paper!

Kalmadis are a tribe found in the upper reaches of Tibet..like Goji berries! They are always hungry and love receving any donations!!!!

India bula raha hai! Aayo khelo hamari sadkon pe..stadium to har jaghan milte hain…hamari sadken bhi kamal ki hain! Obstacle race!

So A R Rahman says he finished the song, the night before..what’s with the damn CWG..is everything going to be the night before????

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Posted by on August 31, 2010 in cricket, general, humor, indian politics, sports

 

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