3 idiots : 2010 calendar

 

Two States : New Book By Chetan Bhagat

Neither is he a great writer nor do I love his books, but the curiosity factor is there. Invariably, all his books do well. It only gives me the impression that people want to read something light, easy and breezy. Nothing too complicated, no conspiracy theory, no big-fat words; just simple plain old English phrases and ordinary stories.

The hype around his books has also increased because of the fact that two of his three books have been adapted on screen. His book One Night At The Call Center was made into Hello which starred Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Sohail Khan, Isha and Amrita Arora. And his first book Five Point Someone is being made into 3 Idiots which has Aamir Khan, Madhavan, Sharman Joshi and Kareena Kapoor in it.

That’s the only reason that I am interested in his new book titled Two States:The Story Of My Marriage. Here’s what the book is about:

Love marriages around the world are simple:

Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy.
They get married.

In India, there are a few more steps:

Boy loves Girl. Girl loves Boy.
Girl’s family has to love boy. Boy’s family has to love girl.
Girl’s Family has to love Boy’s Family. Boy’s family has to love girl’s family.
Girl and Boy still love each other. They get married.

He has also released a few excerpts, read the below:

“Why am I referred here? I don’t have a problem,” I said.
She didn’t react. Just gestured that I remove my shoes and take the couch. She had an office like any other doctor’s, minus the smells and cold, dangerous instruments.
She waited for me to talk more. I hesitated and spoke again.
“I’m sure people come here with big, insurmountable problems. Girlfriends dump their boyfriends everyday. Hardly the reason to see a shrink, right? What am I, a psycho?”
“No, I am the psycho. Psychotherapist to be precise. If you don’t mind, I prefer that to shrink,” she said.
”Sorry,” I said.
“It’s OK,” she said and reclined on her chair. No more than thirty, she seemed young for a shrink, sorry, psychotherapist. Certificates from top US universities adorned the walls like tiger heads in a hunter’s home. Yes, another South Indian had conquered the world of academics. Dr. Neeta Iyer, Valedictorian, Vassar College.
“I charge five hundred rupees per hour,” she said. “Stare at the walls or talk. I’m cool either way.”
I had spent twelve minutes, or a hundred bucks, without getting anywhere. I wondered if she would accept a partial payment and let me leave.
“Dr. Iyer…”
“Neeta is fine,” she said.
“OK, Neeta, I don’t think my problem warrants this. I don’t know why Dr. Ramachandran sent me here.”
She picked my file from her desk. “Let’s see. This is Dr. Ram’s brief to me – patient has sleep deprivation, has cut off human contact for a week, refuses to eat, has Google-searched on best ways to commit suicide.” She paused and looked at me with raised eyebrows.
“I Google for all sorts of stuff,” I mumbled, “don’t you?”
“The report says the mere mention of her name, her neighbourhood or any association, like her favourite dish, brings out unpredictable emotions ranging from tears to rage to frustration.”
“I had a break-up. What do you expect?” I was irritated.
“Sure, with Ananya who stays in Mylapore. What’s her favourite dish? Curd rice?”
I sat up straight. “Don’t,” I said weakly and felt a lump in my throat. I fought back tears. “Don’t,” I said again.
“Don’t what?” Neeta egged me on, “Minor problem, isn’t it?”
“Fuck minor. It’s killing me.” I stood agitatedly. “Do you South Indians even know what emotions are all about?”
“I’ll ignore the racist comment. You can stand and talk, but if it is a long story, take the couch. I want it all,” she said.
I broke into tears. “Why did this happen to me?” I sobbed.
She passed me a tissue.
“Where do I begin?” I said and sat gingerly on the couch.
“Where all love stories begin. From when you met her the first time,” she said.
She drew the curtains and switched on the air-conditioner. I began to talk and get my money’s worth.

 

sorry ‘onir’ bhai

sorry onir bhai, i did not enjoy your movie at all and not just because it was bad; it was too contrived. howcome the same situational coincidences are criticised in big banner movies but here we are supposed to take it as real world cinema. e.g. the lovemaking scene of sharman and chitrangada in the store, taking a walk through the forest area, going for the jazz club restaurant etc.

sorry onir bhai, the cliche of scientist [and students doing phD] being forgetful was carried forward. it neither helped in building the movie nor the character of sharman. it was probably meant for comic relief, but it just did not happen. contrived again. and really bad that the image of scientist was given a minor dent.

sorry onir bhai, but the comical moments in the movie were unnecssarily done and were tasteless. some funny lines from boman irani were nice, but at moments even they were uncalled for; again contrived. sounded like the one-liners were prepared first and so a situation had to be created to use them. the worse sequence was that on the eve of the wedding when sanjay throws a party and they suddenly get a phone call from US saying that stock market crashed; phew ! the begging bowl sequence was so inappropriate. sanjay had earlier mentioned that his partner does get such nightmares, but its depiction was crass given the situation.

sorry onir bhai, the ridiculous ending of the movie was laughable and i rolled and laughed and rolled and laughed… a similar ending in a movie like ‘dillagi'[sunny and bobby deol] or any other big banner movie would have caused a brouhaha among critics going hammer and tong against the directors; but here we are supposed to consume it in the name of neo-realistic cinema. wait for 11 years for mom to pass away because there was a ‘maa kasam’; oh my god ! maa kasam was out of fashion long time ago. how did anybody think of such an impractical ending to a movie thats supposed to be from a forward-thinking director. and wats left in a marriage when they are living-in, breeding kids, and doing almost everything what a couple does; and all they are divided is by some silly social obligation; they could as well have foregone the marriage.

sorry onir bhai, the confusion of not knowing the difference between crush, infatuation, momentary pleasure, and love has again been carried forward in this movie. howcome bollywood directors still get confused between these forms of amorous behavioral pattern. only if we can separate momentary pleasure[lust] from love, we can progress. chitrangada and sanjay suri are supposed to be in a relationship for 5yrs; and time & again sanjay says that he has been trying his hardest to make a good life so that they can have a good future. but instead of believing in his dream, she starts fantasizing about somebody else. thats totally fine, its a frustration and can have its own consequences like looking for physical love. a one-night stand and then an apology/remorse would have been better. but why equate that physical need with love ?? thats just not justified. KANK suffered from the same problem.

sorry onir bhai, i am not looking forward to your next movie. i gave this movie a chance although i disliked bas ek pal. but no more waiting for your next venture.

sorry onir bhai, for being over-apologetic. but at least i am being sincere in my apologies unlike sharman joshi in the movie.

sorry onir bhai …