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Tweets From Suhel Seth In Last 48 hours

Suhel Seth has been on fire for the last 48 hours. He has spoken/tweeted his heart out on the CWG, spot-fixing, A.Raja etc. Here’s a compilation of his wonderful tweets:

Salman Butt is offered an honorary berth at the CWG because they are looking at like-minded thieves who then get caught!!!

Zardari confirms the Pakistan team has done great national service! They now have more foreign exchange reserves thanks to the match-chors!

Mayawati is the only woman in the world who gets statues of hers erected with open handbags..she is hoping for money in that too!

I went to the temple to pray to GOD to stop the rains. The priest tells me that the Temple is now the official wrestling stadium…so then??

Indian Met Dept has been given a gag order on rainy predictions. Any water from the skies is to be treated as a faulty Jet Airways toilet!

Mayawati announces a grant of Rs 20 crs for herself on the show. As a statue. Last heard, also asked for a make-up man…for the statue!!

INDIA’S GOT KALMADI premieres on October 3. In lieu of the Opening Ceremony since it may rain and we may miss a chance to see Kalmadi…

Rakhee Sawant refuses to be on the judging panel saying she speaks better English than all the other judges on the show! Racist woman!!!

The judges for Sony’s new show: Lalu ‘Chara’ Yadav, Shibu ‘Khooni Soren and A ‘Spectrum’ Raja. Mayawati is instead sending her statue!!!

SONY announces a new reality tv show! INDIA’S GOT KALMADI. Rahul Mahajan is the only contender! With bikini-star Dimpy in tow…:)

A Raja is busy dialling Zardari now, given that Kalmadi has made his first official havala appointment!!!

Zardari announces interest rate hikes in Pakistan effective October 15 and bans all manufacture of toilet paper and flushes…

Kalmadi accepts appointment as Chief Pakistan Cricket Board from October 15 and says he will do to Pakistan what the Indian Army couldn’t!

Zardari offers Kalmadi the Nishaan-e-Pakistan, since in India, Kalmadi will be a nishana of a different kind..:)

Kalmadi offers the services of the Organising Committee of the CWG to the Pak Cricket Board to get out of charges of financial hera-phiri

Aman Ki Cash..the new initiative for improving Indo-Pak relations. We’ll give you Kalmadi. You give us Kashmir (the one you have)!! K for K!

Zardari has also announced as a step towards improving Indo-pak relations, he has bought some Padma Shris @ a discount for the Pak Team!!

Actually, unless proven guilty, the following are beacons of honesty: Pak cricketers, Mayawati, Raja, Kalmadi, Zardari, Shibu Soren…

Zardari has just announced the 10% Award for the Pakistan cricketers as a tribute to their counting-money capabilities! They will be drowned

There is a new dance form launched by CWG! Its called Kalakcashtra!!!

Pakistan players were idiots. They should have asked Kalmadi. Forget the match, he would have fixed the weather! Like he’s done with rain!!

Punishment for Pakistan players: work on clearing the CWG mess and rubble and then go on meditation with Kalmadi!!!

Random House is publishing Kalmadi’s autobiography. In the form of a cheque book!!!!

The Bharat Ratna is only meant for the dead. Kalmadi doesn’t qualify unless ofcourse the roof falls on him at the Opening Ceremony!!

A Raja is not the SCAM-DEITY. He alone is the SCAM-PANTHEON!!!

Knock, knock, who’s there? Kalmadi..but where’s the door? Still being built..will be done by October 3..if not 15!!!

Ramalinga Raju has just erected Kalmadi’s statue whilst out on bail! He says, Kalmadi is the SCAM-DEITY of India..coming soon some KalHymns

Manmohan Singh was busy on nuclear deals and Sonia with A Raja! They had no time!!! Which is why Kalmadi was rolling..in the cash!

Kalmadi Ki Karamat!!! The new Karan Johar film releasing on October 3!!! In all incomplete stadia!!!

Shakti Kapoor and Shiney Ahuja have refused to act in KKK! They say that the rape scenes have already happened! Look at the stadia???

The unique feature of a Kalmadi is they can extract water from stone and sell it as single malt and bill for an aeroplane..made of paper!

Kalmadis are a tribe found in the upper reaches of Tibet..like Goji berries! They are always hungry and love receving any donations!!!!

India bula raha hai! Aayo khelo hamari sadkon pe..stadium to har jaghan milte hain…hamari sadken bhi kamal ki hain! Obstacle race!

So A R Rahman says he finished the song, the night before..what’s with the damn CWG..is everything going to be the night before????

 
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Posted by on August 31, 2010 in cricket, general, humor, indian politics, sports

 

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Schedule : FIFA World Cup

All timings in IST

June 11
19.30 Group A South Africa Vs Mexico Johannesburg (SC)

June 12
00.00 Group A Uruguay Vs France Cape Town
17.00 Group B South Korea Vs Greece Johannesburg (SC)
19.30 Group B Argentina Vs Nigeria Port Elizabeth (Ellis)

June 13
00.00 Group C England Vs USA Rustenburg
17.00 Group C Algeria Vs Slovenia Polokwane
19.30 Group D Serbia Vs Ghana Pretoria

June 14
00.00 Group D Germany Vs Australia Durban
17.00 Group E Netherlands Vs Denmark Johannesburg (SC)
19.30 Group E Japan Vs Cameroon Bloemfontein

June 15
00.00 Group F Italy Vs Paraguay Cape Town
17.00 Group F New Zealand Vs Slovakia Rustenburg
19.30 Group G Ivory Coast Vs Portugal Port Elizabeth

June 16
00.00 Group G Brazil Vs North Korea Johannesburg (Ellis)
17.00 Group H Honduras Vs Chile Nelspruit
19.30 Group H Spain Vs Switzerland Durban

June 17
00.00 Group A South Africa Vs Uruguay Pretoria
17.00 Group B Argentina Vs South Korea Johannesburg (SC)
19.30 Group B Greece Vs Nigeria Bloemfontein

June 18
00.00 Group A France Vs Mexico Polokwane
17.00 Group D Germany Vs Serbia Port Elizabeth
19.30 Group C Slovenia Vs USA Johannesburg (Ellis)

June 19
00.00 Group C England Vs Algeria Cape Town
17.00 Group E Netherlands Vs Japan Durban
19.30 Group D Ghana Vs Australia Rustenburg

June 20
00.00 Group E Cameroon Vs Denmark Pretoria
17.00 Group F Slovakia Vs Paraguay Bloemfontein
19.30 Group F Italy Vs New Zealand Nelspruit

June 21
00.00 Group G Brazil Vs Ivory Coast Johannesburg (SC)
17.00 Group G Portugal Vs North Korea Cape Town
19.30 Group H Chile Vs Switzerland Port Elizabeth

June 22
00.00 Group H Spain Vs Honduras Johannesburg (Ellis)
17.00 Group A Mexico Vs Uruguay Rustenburg
19.30 Group A France Vs South Africa Bloemfontein

June 23
00.00 Group B Nigeria Vs South Korea Durban
00.00 Group B Greece Vs Argentina Polokwane
19.30 Group C Slovenia Vs England Port Elizabeth
19.30 Group C USA Vs Algeria Pretoria

June 24
00.00 Group D Ghana Vs Germany Johannesburg (SC)
00.00 Group D Australia Vs Serbia Nelspruit
19.30 Group F Slovakia Vs Italy Johannesburg (Ellis)
19.30 Group F Paraguay Vs New Zealand Polokwane

June 25
00.00 Group E Denmark Vs Japan Rustenburg
00.00 Group E Cameroon Vs Netherlands Cape Town
19.30 Group G Portugal Vs Brazil Durban
19.30 Group G North Korea Vs Ivory Coast Nelspruit

June 26
00.00 Group H Chile Vs Spain Pretoria
00.00 Group H Switzerland Vs Honduras Bloemfontein

Second Round – ROUND OF 16
June 26
19.30 – Group A winner Vs Group B 2nd place Port Elizabeth

June 27
00.00 – Group C winner Vs Group D 2nd place Rustenburg
19.30 – Group D winner Vs Group C 2nd place Bloemfontein

June 28
00.00 – Group B winner Vs Group A 2nd place Johannesburg (SC)
19.30 – Group E winner Vs Group F 2nd place Durban

June 29
00.00 – Group G winner Vs Group H 2nd place Johannesburg (Ellis)
19.30 – Group F winner Vs Group E 2nd place Pretoria

June 30
00.00 – Group H winner Vs Group G 2nd place Cape Town

Quarter-finals
July 2
19.30 – 1st Quarter-final Port Elizabeth

July 3
00.00 – 2nd Quarter-final Johannesburg (SC)
19.30 – 3rd Quarter-final Cape Town

July 4
00.00 – 4th Quarter-final Johannesburg (Ellis)

Semi-finals
July 7
00.00 – 1st Semi-final Cape Town

July 8
00.00 – 2nd Semi-final Durban

Third Place (July 11)
00.00 – Semi-final losers Port Elizabeth

Final (July 12)
00.00 – Semi-final winners Johannesburg (SC)

 
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Posted by on June 11, 2010 in sports

 

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wedding pics : sania and shoaib

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2010 in lifestyle, sports

 

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breaking news : sania calls off wedding with pak cricketer shoaib

https://i0.wp.com/im.rediff.com/sports/2007/nov/07sania.jpgOwing to enormous pressure from fans and other eminent personalities, Sania Mirza has decided to call off her wedding with Pak cricketer Shoaib Malik. In fact, reports also say that right-wing activists who protested outside her residence, on the day her marriage news broke-out, have issued a threat and called her anti-national. Not just right-wingers, but Islamic fundamentalists who had earlier issued a fatwa on her for playing tennis in skimpy skirts, have renewed the threat on her for breaking an arranged marriage with her previous fiance Sohrab and finding love elsewhere in Shoaib Malik. Sania was depressed by such fierce reaction from all quarters, and she made this decision. And I hope I have been successful in fooling you because its 1st April today. Happy Fool’s Day.

Now that I have got the fool’s day out of my bag and drawn your interest, let me discuss the issue in a more serious manner. Sania’s announcement came as a surprise/shock to many of us. And I find it rather unfortunate that she has decided to tie a knot with a Pakistani. No, its not like cross-country marriages don’t happen. Reena Roy married Pak cricketer Mohsin Khan, Neena Gupta bore Viv Richards’ daughter, Jemima married Imran Khan, Rajiv Gandhi brought home Sonia; but this marriage is different.

I have always believed that although all of us are patriots, the true patriots are the ones who represent India elsewhere. So, a true patriot for me would be the defence guys, the armed forces, the navy men and air-force people who guard our country. Next come the sport-stars who represent the country, like Leander Paes, Sachin Tendulkar, Geet Sethi and then of course the gifted people from arts and crafts like Meenakshi Sheshadri and Ustad Amjad Ali Khan etc. Coming from this viewpoint, Sania’s decision to marry a Pak player is disappointing. She has represented India and played for the country, and all of a sudden she compromises on her patriotism to find love in a terror-stricken land of Pakistan. We must not forget that Kasab is still under trial for waging a war against India.

Then how could she consider marrying a Pakistani, I am surprised! I think she and Shoaib realize what they are getting into, and have already decided to shift base to Dubai because Pak is not a safe country to live in; this in itself is such an irony.

https://i0.wp.com/farm3.static.flickr.com/2178/2493836093_6bf77a9ed5_o.jpgComing to their sporting career, neither Sania nor Shoaib are relevant in their sports. Shoaib was a copy-cat of Saqlain Mushtaq to begin with and he seemed to have no prospects until his bat started doing the talking; but that was a thing of the past. As of today, he has been issued a ban for a year, lost his captaincy and will be seen playing inconsequential matches to keep the kitchen stove burning. But this is the least of my grouses. What I detest about Shoaib is his unabashed Islamic behavior at the presentation ceremony of  T20 World Cup final when Pak lost to India. Shoaib went on to apologize to all “muslims of the world” for not having won the cup. How dare this unholy b@$tard try to make Pak the whole-and-sole representative of “all muslims”. He does not even know that India has more muslim population than Pakistan. He does not know that muslims in India have achieved greatness in all fields, be it science & technology [APJ Kalam], be it business[Azim Premji], be it movies [all Khans], be it music [Zakir Hussain, AR Rahman], be it sports [Azhar, Sania herself], be it politics or any other field. I was actually amazed that not many people took exception to this statement from Shoaib. This reflects not only Pak’s insecurities but also their narrow-mindedness.

Coming to Sania, she is a spent-force in Indian tennis and has done nothing after reaching top-30 ranking which was 5 or more years ago; she has not made it to QF or SF of any Grand Slam Singles title. Her many injuries have only reduced her career longevity.

By the way, I just forgot to bring up their past which is again mired in controversy. Shoaib is supposed to have been married to a Hyderabadi girl Ayesha Siddiqui. There is still a case pending against Shoaib and he has not been cleared off the charges yet. In fact, Sania was invited by Siddiquis and she was there in Ayesha’s house and so were the entire Pak cricket team when Shoaib was hosted by his then in-laws in 2005. And yet, now we see her in engagement with Shoaib, such are the works of destiny. Sania too was engaged to her childhood friend Sohrab for more than 6 months, but the engagement was broken. So, we have two people with a thorny past trying to make a rosy future. I wish them all the very best, god bless.

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2010 in cricket, general, lifestyle, sports, tennis

 

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David Shepherd Passes Away

Silently, like a calm but free-flowing stream, Shepherd passed away yesterday. He was fighting cancer and finally succuumbed. But he shall remain immortal in the cricketing world.

I mentioned a stream because that’s how he was. Always calm, never taking any hasty decision, never encouraged poor sportsmanship and was a nice human being. He was one of the most honest umpires that we have ever had, Dickie Bird being the other one. His decisions have never been partial to anybody because he respected the game more than the entertainment value in it.

He will also be remembered for hopping on the field when the scoreboard read 111 or 222 or 333 etc. That was one of his superstitions that wickets tend to fall on such scores, and he was proven right quite a few times. Also, he never got into a conversation, forget having an argument,  with any player, thereby maintaining his own dignity and that of the game.

He was always in high spirit and had the rare capability of making even a test-match interesting to watch. Whenever the camera panned on him, he was there with a beaming smile and a sweet gesture. His attitude and the sporting spirit that he maintained, will never be forgotten. He was a great ambassador of the game. My salutations to the great man.

 
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Posted by on October 30, 2009 in cricket, sports

 

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french open 2009 ends on happy note

there is lots to cheer about the results of the french open this year. leander paes won the mens-doubles match and brought much pride to india.

and finally, roger federer conquered french open. the absence of nadal may have made it easier, psychologically. but that was just an advantage which he had to make good of. and champion players don’t miss out on such opportunities. i am so happy for him. at last, after so many tormenting months federer is champion again.

and the best part was the lovely steffi graf’s presence in the womens-singles final match, where she was present. she is still so beautiful…

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2009 in sports, tennis

 

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