marketting strategies decoded …

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich.
Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing….

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says: “He’s very rich.
Marry him.” -That’s Advertising…

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich.
Marry me” – That’s Telemarketing…..

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink and say “Marry Me?” – That’s Public
Relations…

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:”You are very rich!
Can you marry me?” – That’s Brand Recognition…

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. – That’s Customer Feedback…

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she
introduces you to her husband. – That’s demand and supply gap…

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person comes
and tells her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she
goes with him – That’s competition eating into your market share…

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.. You go up to
her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your
wife arrives. – That’s restriction for entering new markets…

Lessons To Learn From Noah’s Ark Experience

• Don’t miss the boat. 
• Remember that we are all in the same boat! 
• Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.
•  Stay fit. When you’re 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
• Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. 
• Build your future on high ground. 
• For safety’s sake, travel in pairs. 
• Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs. 
• When you’re stressed, float awhile. 
• Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. 
• No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.

friendship is not about … its about …

Friendship is not about “I m sorry”
 its about “abbe  teri  galti hai”
 
Friendship is not about “Get well soon”
 its about “itna piyega toh yehi hoga”
 
Friendship is not about “I love that girl”
 its about “saalo… izzat se dekho tumhari bhabhi hai”

Friendship is not about “I am there for u” or “I missed u
 its about “kahan marr gaya tha … saale”

Friendship is not about “I understand”
 its about “sab teri wajah se hua manhoos”

Friendship is not about “I care for u”
 its about “kaminey… tujhe chhod ke kahan jaoonga

Friendship is not about “I am happy for your success”
 its about “chal party de saale”

Friendship is not about “Are u coming for outing tomorrow
 its about “nautanki matt kar, hum kal bahar ja rahe hain”
 
Friendship is not about “All the best for ur career”
 its about “bahut hua, abhi toh switch maar saale”

miss venezuela, stefania fernandez, is miss universe 2009

It’s been back to back miss universe titles for Venezuela. Last year Diana Mendoza was crowned and this year Stefania Fernandez wore the tiara at Paradise Islands of Bahamas.

preventive steps for h1n1

i received the following info through an email, so i thought of sharing it with everybody. here goes:

Most N95 respirators are designed to filter 95% particulates of 0.3µ, while the size of H1N1 virus is about 0.1µ. Hence, dependence on N95 to protect against H1N1 is like protecting against rain with an umbrella made of mosquito net.

Tamiflu does not kill but prevents H1N1 from further proliferation till the virus limits itself in about 1-2 weeks (its natural cycle). H1N1, like other Influenza A viruses, only infects the upper respiratory tract and proliferates (only) there. The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/ throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it’s almost impossible not coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps – not fully highlighted in most official communications – can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1.  Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2.  ”Hands-off-the-face” approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3.  Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don’t trust salt). H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don’t underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4.  Similar to 3 above, clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.

5.  Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits). If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6.  Drink as much of warm liquids as you can. Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

All these are simple ways to prevent, within means of most households, and certainly much less painful than to wait in long queues outside public hospitals.

swine flu awareness : h1n1 helplines in bangalore

Latest update: Bangalore death toll becomes 5 and all-India death toll figure is at 27

Here’s a list of hospitals who treats H1N1 flu in Bangalore; Make it handy to help others.

Mallya 080 22277979

Manipal 080 25023512

St.Martha’s 080 22275081

Malliage Medical Centre 080 22203333

St.John’s 080 22065000

Amedkar Hospital 080 25476496

Vydehi Hospital 080 28413385

M.S.Ramaiah 080 23608888

City Hospital, Rajajinagar 080 23131777

Pristine Hospital 080 41354444

Mahabhodi Malligae Hospital 080 26565678

Victoria Hospital, Kalasipalayam, KR Market, Phone : 26703294

Lakeside Hospital, Meanee Avenue, Near Ulsoor lake, Phone 25366725

Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Chest Diseases, Near Kidwai Cancer Hospital. Phone : 26632634

Check here for more details: http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/qa.htm

IT Guys, Please Excuse!

Off-late I have been hearing about a lot of lay-offs and lots of IT professionals losing their jobs. In fact, the other day I received an email-forward which had a screen-shot of some girl’s profile in a matrimonial website. Her preference had this strange condition – IT guys, please excuse.

So, the downturn and recession has hit the matrimonial market too. Girls are no longer feeling secure enough about her guy having an IT job. These were the same people chasing IT guys because of their pay-packet and onsite offers to US and UK. An economic recession and IT guys have become the new untouchables. Money has become so big a matter, that no other virtue is considered. In fact, the IT guys in cities like Bangalore, Pune and Hyderabad are asked by prospective in-laws if they were on bench.

This new and strange phenomenon reminded me of an old song from the movie Vidhata, directed by Subhash Ghai. The song was vulgar for those times, and a big hush-hush. When I watched this movie on video, 20 years back, I had to fast-forward the song. The song was a tale of 7 friends who discussed the cons of marrying guys of varied professions.

saat saheliya khadi khadi
fariyaad sunaye ghadi ghadi

The first profession that they talk about is that of a doctor. This is one of the most popular professions and usually never spoken about condescendingly.

ek saheli ka
miya tha doctor
……….
raat bhar muaa sone na de
injection lagaye ghadi ghadi

The crude lyrics point to the perception of how doctors love to poke an injection for just about anything, of course here the injection is suggestive for something else.

Next comes the rugged profession of driving. City driving has become quite a nuisance and honking is one of the ways of finding our way out through the dense traffic.

ek sahlei ka
miya tha driver
……….
raat bhar muaa sone na de
pho pho bajaye ghadi ghadi

The lyrics here again point to the excessive pushing at the horns, thereby producing a loud noise which can keep your partner on bed and co-passengers on road, totally awake.

Tailoring was always a popular summer-time course, but as a profession … well in times of recession, any job is good enough.

ek saheli ka
miya tha darzi
……….
raat bhar muaa sone na de
sooyi chubhaaye ghadi ghadi

We have another reference to the poking phenomenon here, just as the injection. And again, this is the cause for getting rejected as well.

I am sure we have all suffered because of a dancing neighbour who would put on the music at odd hours and start their practise.

ek saheli ka
miya tha dancer
……….
raat bhar muaa sone na de
ta ta thaiyya karawe ghadi ghadi

This is akin to dancing to somebody’s tune or dancing at the snap of a finger. But seriously speaking, dancing on bed can be injurious as we are prone to twisting a muscle or spraining ourself.

Something else thats injurious to health is drinking. But drinking is a socially relevant necessary evil, else you can’t have a decent party.

ek saheli ka
miya sharabi
……….
raat bhar maka sone na de
bottle dikhaya ghadi ghadi

Showing a bottle time and again, don’t know what crude sense to make out of it. But a drunk partner should be totally avoided, they may just pass-out while you are still interested in the act.

Delivering mails, how lucrative is that? But, at one point of time being a postman used to be a sought after job.

ek saheli ka miya
miya tha daakiya
……….
raat bhar maka sowan na de
thappo lagaye ghadi ghadi ghadi

Stamping someone all over, that must be some fun. But yet, that’s not what some girls look forward to.

I didn’t know hailing from Kolhapur could be such a bad thing.

ek saheli ka
miya kolhapuri
………
raat bhar malaa sone na de
chappal dikhaye ghadi ghadi

Yeah, being a Kolhapuri should not be correlated to excessive use of slippers. And still, we have someone complaining about being shown the slipper, probably a case of domestic abuse and/or wife beating.

The lives of IT guys can be marred by involvement in activities of more than one of the professions mentioned above. What if the IT guy happened to be a Kolhapuri, he should be avoided. What if the IT guy drives to work everyday and ends up with carpal tunnel syndrome because of inordinate honking, he should definitely be avoided. What if the IT guy gets drunk in a project party and returns home totally deflated, do not consider such a person. So, where does that leave the IT guys?

If the above song were to be written now, they would surely have included the IT related professionals as well. Its quite a grim situation, the IT guy is in danger of losing his job on account of slowdown and he could be rejected by prospective brides on account of his profession. We probably have to wait for the next IT boom, because this is as bad as IT gets.

This post was first published on PFC

don’t become irreplaceable …

I was chatting with a colleague yesterday, and he mentioned that he was stuck in a rut. He has been doing the same damn thing for more than 4 yrs now. His client has not changed since he joined, and his current project has been going on for more than 2 yrs. He has been in the project since inception, and now he has become whole ‘n’ soul of the project. Developers have come and gone, and he has just watched it happen while being on the same seat. He is not stagnating as such because new responsibilities have been given to him, but he is just bugged of being there all the time.

That’s when I told him: dude, you have become irreplaceable and that‘s the problem.

When someone becomes irreplaceable, the dependency on them increases and it soon seems like nothing can be done without them. The only positive I see is that, it’s a project related matter; sooner or later they will find someone and start-off with KT’s and a smooth transition of responsibilities from one shoulder to another shoulder will happen too.

But what if it’s a real-life crisis? What if someone becomes irreplaceable in someone else’s life?? How do we handle such situations??? We cannot just shift the burden from one shoulder to another, we cannot have a KT for a relationship because it’s not a logical issue, it’s a psychological issue; nothing to do with the brain and everything to do with the heart.

There are no easy answers, but I am not looking for it anyways. All I can say is, please don’t get overly-dependant on anybody; and please oh! please … don‘t become irreplaceable.

something to think about …

I received this piece as an email. It got to me thinking and so I felt I should share it with everybody. Here it goes:

If we miniaturize the world population [population of the Earth] to a small town with 100 people and keep the proportions, it will look like this -
57 Asians 21 Europeans 14 Americans (northern and southern) 8 Africans
52 women 48 men
70 coloured-skins 30 caucasians
6 people would own 59% of the whole world wealth and all of them will be from the United States of America
80 would have bad living conditions
70 will be uneducated
50 will be underfed
1 would die
2 would be born
1 will have a computer
1 (only one) will have higher education

Isn’t this shocking !!!

ajab sanju ki gajab kahani

Today is Sanjay Dutt’s 50th birthday. Wish him a very happy birthday.

The day I learnt that Sanjay Dutt is stepping into politics I was a little confused; I was wondering if it is his cup of tea or will he be just tasting it to add yet another experience in his already mired life. From what I have seen and heard about him, he is supposed to be a very emotional person who does things for friends, who takes decisions on the spur, and who can be frivolous at times. But, on the other hand he seems to be the ideal political candidate or guinea pig.

If we observe Sanju’s life and career graph and put it in a book or a movie, it will be an instant best-seller. The tough times that he has gone through and the happy days that he has seen have almost always been like a zebra-crossing, starting with his debut movie Rocky to joining Samajwadi Party.

With a successful father and a great dad-mom duo at home he was a much pampered child and he did get his dream debut in the movie industry with ‘Rocky’ which released in 1981. But he started off on wrong note, the movie bombed. His next movie Vidhata fared much better, more so because it had Dilip Kumar being directed by Subhash Ghai. After the success of ‘Vidhata’ he did a whole lot of forgettable movies like Mera Faisla, Jaan Ki Baazi, Jeeva etc.

Sanju shot to fame for his depiction of a guy who goes to Dubai to earn quick bucks and ends up becoming a drug peddler in ‘Naam’. I really loved this movie and this is one of the finest performances that he has given. It may have come naturally to him since he had been through a similar struggle in his personal life. His drug addiction and rehab stories are legendary and then his mother was fighting cancer and finally succumbed to it. All this may have added to his performance. He went on to act in a few more movies which fared in the box-office like Kabzaa, Mohabbat Ke Dushman, Imaandar, Kanoon Apna Apna etc.

Just when he was peaking in his career with hit movies like Sadak, Yodha, Krodh and Thaanedar; and just when he was in the league of Anil Kapoor, Sunny Deol and Jackie Shorff, he got arrested under TADA for illegal possession of arms and ammunitions[AK-56 was recovered from his house] and he was also charged in connection with the Bombay bomb-blasts of 1993. Soon after his arrest, Khalnayak released. The movie was about a boy Ballu who had lost his path and ends up on the wrong side of the law. The movie was surrounded with controversy, firstly because of the movie title and secondly because of the content and of course the infamous song choli ke peeche. The movie portrayed an ideal father who wants his son to come up on his own and live with honesty, whereas the son wants instant success and luxuries of life which lead him to wrong company. People equated this portrayal to his real life scenario, thereby creating a wrong perception of Sanju.

Sanju spent 1.5 yrs in Arthur Road jail. He did confess to the fact that he possessed the arms and his companionship with the other co-accused but he denied any knowledge of the bigger conspiracy. He was finally granted bail, and so started his tryst with jail visits on and off. After getting released from jail, he made a great comeback with movies like Daag, Dushman, Vaastav, Mission Kashmir. He also tried his hands in the comedy genre with movies like Haseena Maan Jayegi, Khoobsurat, Jodi No.1 etc.

Finally, he had his best-time ever in movie industry with success of movies like Kaante, Munnabhai MBBS, Parineeta, Dus, Zinda, Lage Raho Munnabhai. It took him a lot of time to change the image from Baba to Munnabhai, from a guy who had been through rehab to a guy who rediscovered Gandhi; from being careless and ruthless to being sensitive and caring; from being a vagabond to finally settling down.

Sanju’s personal life is also zig-zagged with lots of happy and sad moments. He lost his mother and first wife, Richa Sharma to cancer. His daughter Trishala, from his first marriage, lives far away in US and he does not get to meet her often. While he was in jail, his fiance Rhea Pillai stood by him and she even led quite a few movements asking fellow actors to come in support of him. Once Sanju was out of jail, he married Rhea but that marriage did not last long. They finally called it quits and she is happily married to Leander Paes, the tennis star. Now, Sanju has involved himself in another controversy – marrying Manyata Dilnawaz Sheikh. Manyata’s previous marriage has not yet been declared null and void and she has hopped onto another one, thereby attracting media attention.

He has also estranged his sister Priya Dutt in the process. Firstly he did not inform her about his marriage with Manyata and she got to know of it through a media scoop. And now he has declared that he will stand for election on a Samajwadi party ticket because of his newfound love for Amar Singh whom he calls his elder brother.

People get involved in controversy, but in Sanju’s case he has invited controversy, befriended it and thrived on it. But what is admirable about him is the fighting spirit, never-say-die, never give-up or give-in. He has been through the toughest of situations and come out unscathed; be it his drug abuse and rehab, loss of mom and first wife, jailed under TADA … he has seen it all.

Here is a short summary of events which has finally culminated into him joining politics:

1. a bollywood superstar
2. son of an illustrious and well respected actor-cum-politician[Sunil
Dutt was staunch congressman and a great example of man with Gandhian
principles and of course a brilliant actor]
3. a drug addict who has been through rehab
4. twin tragedies like losing his mother and wife to cancer
5. languished in jail under TADA on charges of abetting terrorism
6. second innings of film career as Munnabhai, thereby making a new
place for himself in people’s heart
7. marrying somebody else’s wife in a controversial manner
8. estranged relationship with sisters and daughter
9. finally taking a plunge into politics

The first 8 points don’t necessarily lead to the 9th point, but he probably is destiny’s child.

This post was first published on PFC